Preschool teachers often find themselves navigating a complex slew of tiny humans with big emotions. While the rewards of being a preschool teacher are huge, it doesn’t come without challenges! Behavior management in the preschool classroom is complex and so much of it is our own mindset. Here are some hard truths about behavior management that I learned along the way to help you approach the role of ‘chaos coordinator’ with greater clarity and confidence!
Hard Truth #1: Kids can’t read minds.
Nope, they sure can’t. Preschoolers are still developing their understanding of social cues and expectations.
We must communicate clearly and consistently tell (and show) children what is expected, in every situation.
Assuming children know how to act in certain situations is an assumption that will lead you to frustration! Make your expectations clear – children can rise to our expectations, but only if they know what they are.
Hard Truth #2: Children need us to teach them EVERYTHING.
While academic skills are important, preschoolers require a lot of instruction in everything – not just the ABC’s and 123’s.
Remember… they haven’t been on this earth very long. They don’t know all.the.things.
Teaching social-emotional skills, conflict resolution, and self-regulation is of upmost importance. Children need to be explicitly taught how to interact with peers, manage their emotions, and follow routines.
If the missing skill were an academic skill… you’d teach it. So, if the missing skills is a social-emotional skill, shouldn’t you also… teach it?
Hard Truth #3: It takes as much energy to teach social skills as it does to put a child in time out.
And the benefits of teaching children a different way to handle the conflict can actually lead to a change in behavior.
Whereas placing a child in time out only teaches them that YOU are not happy with their actions. And the behavior only gets addressed when YOU catch them in the act. So, what might happen? The child will continue the behavior, but try to hide it from you. No real change will happen (unless out of fear) and no real skills will be built that the child can use outside of your presence.
When we teach children a different way to handle a situation, they can take this lesson and their new understanding and apply it outside of school – yep, even when you aren’t watching.
Not to mention, when you take the emotion (your frustration) out of the situation, this takes away the feeling that the child has been ‘bad’. Because the truth is… there are not ‘bad’ kids, just kids who don’t know another way.
Hard Truth #4: Kids don’t learn from people they don’t like.
Sound too harsh? Think about the last time you wanted to take advice from someone you really didn’t care for. Children are perceptive.
And children are more receptive to learning from individuals they trust and respect.
It’s why we are always told to build relationships. And while relationships are certainly not the end-all-be-all, they are an important part of the puzzle.
Nurturing positive relationships with each child is essential for effective behavior management.
Hard Truth #5: They aren’t going to get it the first time.
Learning is a gradual process. We know this when we work with academic skills. But, for some reason when it comes to social/emotional skills we find ourselves saying things like “you know better” or “I already told you…”.
How many repetitions does research say we need before mastery? It’s a lot (and it ranges based on what article you are reading). But, it is for sure more than once, twice or even three times.
Repeating yourself until to feel insane is really just apart of our job!
Hard Truth #6: Some days are just hard.
When you work with irrational little humans in large groups, sometimes things go south.
Even the teachers with the best classroom management techniques can have a hard day. Expect it and don’t let it derail you.
It is essential to recognize your limits and seek support from colleagues and administrators when needed. Teaching is a team sport. There is no special award for losing your sh*t – so ask for the help. Remember there is no shame in asking for said help, it means you respect your own limits and what to keep your relationships with students intact.
By acknowledging these ‘hard-truth’ realities and implementing strategies to address them, you can feel more confident in behavior management in your classroom.
